Daily light~Until we admit full defeat we will always experience being defeated. Why? Simple, when we play God we loose. Simple solution let God be God, and let God~Son~Holy Spirit be revealed personally in your experience. Stop~be still~rest in the arrival of what always was and "IS".
Ecclesiasticus / Sirach - Chapter 18
4 He has given no one the power to proclaim his works to the end, and who can fathom his magnificent deeds?
5 Who can assess his magnificent strength, and who can go further and tell all of his mercies?
6 Nothing can be added to them, nothing subtracted, it is impossible to fathom the marvels of the Lord.
7 When someone finishes he is only beginning, and when he stops he is as puzzled as ever.
8 What is a human being, what purpose does he serve? What is good and what is bad for him?
9 The length of his life: a hundred years at most.
10 Like a drop of water from the sea, or a grain of sand, such are these few years compared with eternity.
11 This is why the Lord is patient with them and pours out his mercy on them.